My activity on this blog has been
non-existent of late, mainly due to being really busy both at work and home. I
have thought about a number of things to write about over the past couple of
months, but just didn’t have the time to sit down and get round to it.
As you may know, I ran the LondonMarathon on the 23rd of April 2017. If you know that then you
probably also know that my result was far from what I’d hoped for and expected.
I’d actually planned to pen this
entry prior to the event, as it was originally going to be more about the
training process and what went into it rather than a race report: the time;
effort; fatigue; doubts; worries; fitting it into life in general; but I just
never got it done. Now, after the event, it seems silly not to include
something about the race itself, especially having underachieved.
The Race
Let’s get this out of the way
first: I had targeted (I think realistically) a sub-3hour marathon, but ended
up finishing in 3h19min. From shortly after half-way I knew I wasn’t going to
go under 3h, but still felt I could get a Good For Age time (3h05m). However,
as the miles slowly ticked by I saw that, as well as a PB (which remains 3h10m),
disappear from view.
After finishing I was extremely
disappointed- and I still am- though I put it largely down to just having a bad
day. However, on reflection and after speaking to a friend about it, I wonder
if I have been harbouring a slight cold, or still got the remnants of a chest
infection that scuppered two weeks of training last month. It may sound like me
making excuses, but my legs started to go at about 7miles. At marathon pace the
first half should have felt quite comfortable but I was already struggling at
half-way, whilst managing to stay close to my target. My heart rate was up
about 10-15bpm on what I’d expected as well- not a good sign.
Without going into much more
boring mile-by-mile detail, suffice to say that as I saw my pace dropping
further and further away, and my legs got worse with each step, I lost my
motivation and really didn’t enjoy it at all. From 16miles on the cheering
crowds almost made it worse and overall, other than pre-race and the first few
miles, I didn’t have a positive experience. I imagine if I’d felt better from
the start and was on target then the support would have helped spur me on, but
in this case it just got me down.
That said though, I was lucky to
see a few familiar faces supporting me which was lovely, and those
moments really did lift my spirits and help me push on to at least finish.
Training
Whilst I’d done two standalone
marathons in the past, as well as three as part of ironman triathlons, this was
the first one where I had specifically trained and followed a running schedule,
which kind of made the outcome seem worse. I took it from a book by former elite GB runner Richard Nerurkin, which featured a lot of good advice and a number of twelve-week
plans for times ranging from sub-2h20m to 5h. Strangely though, whilst there was
a 2h45 and a 3h30, there was no sub-3h. I set out to try and do a slightly
modified version of the 2h45, adjusted for fewer miles.
I had a few setbacks along the
way, the biggest one being approximately two weeks of no training with a chest
infection at weeks five and six, and difficulty training whilst on holiday in
Malaysia- a combination of extreme heat and travelling around making it difficult to get things done
(though I don’t expect any sympathy for the latter!)
However, I felt that I had it in
me as I’d shown some decent form with a new 10k PB set in January of 37m12s,and then a half-marathon PB of 1h24m in late February. With these in the bag a
sub-3 should have been very attainable.
I was fortunate with injuries-
insofar as I didn’t really suffer from any. Of course I had a multitude of
niggles that are inevitable with high mileage, particularly in my right hip,
but nothing that stopped me running. At most I took an extra rest day on a few
occasions to let things settle, so that wasn’t really an issue at all.
On average (illness weeks
notwithstanding) I ran five/six times, covering 35miles/55k per week. Not the
highest mileage, but certainly more than I’d done before and I didn’t feel like
I’d over-trained.
I’m lucky to have a number of
friends nearby who run to a similar standard, so I had no shortage of training
partners locally, and even in Malaysia I managed to find some company for a
couple of the long runs via a Facebook group.
Overall I felt the training went
quite ok, so started with the race with the belief that my goal was there to be
reached.
Body Image
There are many reasons why we
exercise and I’m probably like most others in this respect: the social aspect; a
sense of achievement; physical and mental health; satisfaction; and body image.
Along with a decent diet, exercise can help maintain a healthy body weight. For
those of us who love food, high levels of exercise can give us a little more
leeway.
I’m not the typical endurance
athlete build that most of us probably imagine: tall, sinewy, lean, and lithe;
but neither am I the total opposite (apart from being short). Going by BMI I am
at the top of the healthy range (though this doesn’t account for muscle mass), but
even my percentage body fat is still at the upper end. So, objectively
speaking, I know that there is plenty of room to make healthy changes.
At 167cm (5’6”) tall and about
68kg (10st10lb), I’m not the lightest but do know that I’m in the healthy
range. I’d love to lose a few kilograms of fat and perhaps gain a couple back
in muscle, but when I say this to most people they think I’m being ridiculous.
I’ve even been told by a couple
of people in the past that I suffer from body dysmorphia (an anxiety disorder that
causes a person to have a distorted view of how they look and to spend a lot of
time worrying about their appearance) when in reality I feel that I merely want
to trim down a bit to help achieve my athletic ambitions.
Disappointment
Whenever we set ourselves a
target that we don’t achieve, there is inevitably a sense of disappointment. It
may be a task at work, stopping smoking, getting up earlier in the morning, or
keeping on top of the housework. Running is just like this so although I did
achieve something by finishing, and although my time may have been one that
some people would love to get, for me with my goals and what I believe I am
capable of, this was a complete disappointment. Whilst I wouldn’t use the word
‘failure’ in this situation, it has certainly left me deflated.
However, I really had a lot of
really nice messages of support both before and after the race, and each and
every one was greatly appreciated.
How we deal with disappointment
is really important. I think it’s understandable that right now I’m still unhappy
with it, but I’ve already started to think about what the coming months and
even years hold for me: I’ve a sprint triathlon in five weeks (bit of a change
of pace!) and a couple more over the summer, so I’m going to get back in the
saddle and start hitting it hard again after a recovery week. After that my
targets may be reset on the longer stuff again- Ironman and marathon as there
is some unfinished business in both of those- namely going sub-11 and sub-3.
Stress
I find exercise is the best form
of stress relief for me and without it I am lethargic, can get a bit down, and
am generally less good company. A lot of people I know (most of whom engage in
similar past-times) are the same to some degree, and it’s a pretty common
thing. Marathon training in of itself though was quite stressful- the fear of
missing sessions or not running to pace and the feeling of running tired all the time can get to you.
I suppose that’s part of making a
big commitment that changes the framing of the situation: it goes from
something that you’re doing purely because you want to (going for a nice run)
to something that you are obliged to do in order to have a chance of success.
Motivation
Where do we get our motivation
from? Both internal and external factors come into play for everyone. Some of
us feel the need to prove something to others; others want to prove it to
ourselves. Some of us enjoy the kudos that comes with getting a PB; others just
soak up their own sense of achievement.
There is usually a mix of things
though and I honestly don’t know where I sit in this sliding scale. Of course
it’s nice to be congratulated for your achievements, but at the same time I
like to see how far I can push my abilities.
I certainly take pride in wearing
my club colours as it gives me a sense of belonging to something and a feeling
of pride to represent a group. This rings true for when I played football for
the Dundee United Supporters’ team in London, raced at athletics meets for my
old club Walton AC, or nowadays competing under the flag of Exeter TriathlonClub who I train and coach with. Either way, I love being a part of a team,
even in a largely individual sport, and this is a huge factor in my continued
participation in sport.
Where to now?
As I said earlier, I will move on
to the next race soon. I think I will always have a feeling of disappointment
about the London Marathon, but know this will diminish over time and be all but
banished when I go under 3h. I am already starting to make sense of it
and am becoming increasingly convinced that I wasn’t at 100% health for the
race. For events of such magnitude so many things need to go right on the day
and even the slightest setback can make the difference.
What was the London Marathon like?
I lived in London for three years
and can’t say I particularly liked it: too busy, too smelly, no time,
expensive, heads always buried in phones/tablets… though of course it has its
positives: nice parks, loads of lidos, an abundance of food, huge cultural
diversity... It just wasn’t for me.
As for the marathon? Well,
answering this question on Sunday afternoon or yesterday definitely wold have
got you a “didn’t like it, won't do it again”, but on reflection I think I may well make another attempt.
I’ll need to go GFA as I won’t be fortunate enough to get another ballot place
and I’m not going to do a charity one. I suppose I’d like the opportunity to go
back and feel energised by the support rather than what I felt this time. There
wasn’t a quiet metre of running from start to finish and this must be
applauded, and I want to make the most of that. It was very well organised from
start to finish and I don’t want to have my only experience of it to be
negative.
In fact, having written this over a couple of days, digested things, and spoken to a number of people about it, I think I may have just convinced
myself to do it again...
